Necessity of Communication in Marriage

The verse that comes to my mind here as I was thinking about what I might share in a practical way, with not only the two couples, but everyone else here that’s married, is taken from Ecclesiastes 3:7. It says, “There is a time to be silent, and a time to speak.” And I’m thinking of this in the realm of the necessity for communication. There’s a time to be silent, and then in my application here, that silence is the silence of listening. Listening skills. And there’s a time to speak which would be the communicative skills. There’s a time for both of those in the necessity of communication. 

And in the Bible, the word “speak” is used 454 times. So that’s a lot of communication advocated in the Bible. And in the realm of a living, vital, working marriage, communication is so important. 

You know, we can fall to silence – maybe as a defensive mechanism. We withdraw. But silence just builds walls, doesn’t it? We’ve used those terms before, surely – a wall of silence? We don’t want that. Sometimes silence can be simply self-centered. It’s about me. And I withdraw at other times. It can be defensive. Oh, just pulling back as a mechanism to defend myself in silence. Other times, it can actually be an offensive weapon. You know, the cold shoulder of silence. 

But when we need to speak, there’s a positive duty to talk things out. You’ve got problems that need to be addressed. You’ve got to listen. You’ve got to speak. You’ve got decisions that need to be made. You’ve got to listen. You’ve got to speak. You need to express needs and desires. You’ve got to communicate that. And yes, sometimes, dissatisfactions, right? 

You’ve got to know when to be silent and listen, as well as when to speak, because no one’s telepathic. We can’t read minds. Sometimes, I think my wife is almost there, where she can, but the reality is, we can’t read each other’s minds. We’ve got to communicate, right? And so that’s the thought on my mind here this morning. There’s a time to be silent, and there’s a time to speak. 

And so from this day forward, going forward from here, you guys have got to get together and talk. Talk about things. It’s so vital. Think about this. It’s worthwhile to note. With the Tower of Babel, all God did was break down their communication. That was all He had to do. He changed language, and so now, they’re no longer able to communicate. And whenever you’re not able to communicate, then anything constructive goes out the window. So, a time to be silent and a time to speak.