How Do I Deal With Hurtful Sins From My Past?

Addressing Sins From My Past

Question on dealing with sins from my past: This last one is a sensitive one too. This is from “Anonymous.” He didn’t want to put his name. He says, “When I was not saved…” Now, folks, I’m dealing with this because this is a real issue. And I don’t think only for this guy. And because I want to draw some broader principles that I think will help all of us. He says, “When I was not saved, I sexually abused two people in my family. One was my step-sister. The other was my cousin. I’ve now repented from living a life of sin. I’ve given my life to Jesus Christ. But even now as a Christian, what am I supposed to do? My step-sister and my cousin were very young when I did this to them. Now, we talk together. We even get together like all is well. But they’re growing up. These things I’ve done will likely come back to their memory. What do I do? As a child, I was also sexually abused by two people in my family. What do I do?”

Tim’s Response on Healing and Restitution

Tim: I would address this to Anonymous and everyone listening. It’s crucial, especially for those likely to engage online or removed from supportive communities like San Antonio. When considering all incoming questions, remember what the Bible advises. Hebrews 10:24 encourages us to “stir up one another to love and good works,” and Hebrews 13:17 reminds us to “Obey your leaders and submit to them.”

The Importance of Church Community

My primary advice to anyone writing to Ask Pastor Tim’s is to be part of a church. A good church provides regular fellowship with other believers, offering mutual encouragement. Being in such an environment means submitting to godly leaders who watch over your souls. This is essential for proper counsel, which is challenging to provide through distant emails. Anonymous needs face-to-face support from godly men in his church to navigate these sensitive issues effectively.

Embracing the Past and Moving Forward

Let’s discuss some broader principles related to sins from my past. Firstly, we cannot undo the past. Letting it drag us down or hinder our present journey is not beneficial. Every Christian has past mistakes, but all are covered by the blood of Christ. There is no condemnation for those in Christ. However, this doesn’t eliminate the consequences of past actions.

When I was lost, I committed various wrongs, including vandalism and theft. After being saved, I felt convicted about these actions. For instance, I returned to a golf course where I had caused significant damage and offered to make restitution, though they never followed up. Similarly, another brother faced consequences despite his salvation, highlighting that salvation doesn’t always remove earthly repercussions.

Forgiveness and Letting Go

Regarding those who have sinned against us, forgiveness is paramount. Jesus taught us in Matthew 18 about forgiving others as we have been forgiven. Mr. Anonymous mentions being sexually abused by family members; he needs to forgive them. Holding onto grudges hinders our own forgiveness. Letting go aligns with God’s teachings and our own forgiveness in Christ.

Restitution as True Repentance

Repentance involves turning away from sin and, where possible, making restitution. Taking Zacchaeus as an example, his restitution demonstrated true repentance. If you’ve wronged someone, returning what was taken or making amends is essential. Sometimes, restitution isn’t possible due to various circumstances, but wherever it can be made, it should be pursued.

Practical Steps for Making Amends

For sexual sins, especially involving children, the path isn’t always clear. Prayer is crucial. When I was saved, I listed all my wrongdoings and addressed them one by one, often feeling overwhelmed. Confessing to those wronged, even when it’s embarrassing, is part of the healing process. Love should guide these actions, ensuring decisions aren’t based on self-preservation but on what’s right.

Responsibility Towards Those We’ve Harmed

Mr. Anonymous has a responsibility to the children he harmed. They might struggle with these memories as they grow, and he should consider informing their father to help them. Acting with honesty and love can aid in their healing. Scripture teaches us to treat others as we wish to be treated, reinforcing the need for transparency and responsibility.

Walking in Repentance

If you’re a Christian, true repentance involves seeking to make things right. Whether through returning stolen items or confessing past sins, these actions demonstrate genuine repentance. It’s not easy, but with God’s help, it’s possible. My own journey included making restitution multiple times, sometimes facing embarrassment, but it was necessary for my spiritual growth.

Mr. Anonymous, your sins are indeed shameful, but under the blood of Christ, you can walk the path of righteousness. Make decisions based on love and honesty, seeking God’s guidance every step of the way. God will help you overcome these challenges because with Him, all things are possible.