What Should a Christian Wife Do if Her Husband is Lost?

Category: Questions & Answers
Bible: 1 Peter 3:7

Question: This is from an anonymous sister in the Lord. She says, “Pastor Tim, I’ve been raised in a Christian home, and recently over the past five years, I’ve experienced tremendous growth in my walk with God. I’m a true believer and strive for my life to glorify God. On the other side of things, my husband was also raised in a Christian home, but he’s decided in the past year to look into Wicca, the Golden Dawn, Satanism, etc. He’s leaning towards FreeMasons and the Golden Dawn. I’ve been counseled to leave him by many. I do not feel this is what the Holy Spirit is leading me to do, but I would appreciate some biblical direction. I have three young children, four and under, and I’m doing my best daily to teach them to live for Jesus. I do struggle with this whole thing very much some days, and I just lean on the Lord and pray for wisdom in all circumstances. Thanks for any help and guidance.” 


Tim: Well, this is a Christian sister. And I would say the same thing that I said last week, we had some sensitive issues last week. My first counsel to this sister is: you’ve got to be in a good church. And you’ve got to find some good and godly men to walk with you through these things and pray with you through these things. It’s absolutely essential that people are in good churches. 

But, beyond that, I would say this. Do you know what the Scripture teaches? How many Christians do you have to have in a household for it to be a Christian household? One. Now, it’s very interesting that the text that we would go to to support that truth immediately follows a text that actually gives this sister counsel in her area as well. Listen to this: 1 Corinthians 7:13 “If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever…” Well, that identifies this sister. “…and he consents to live with her.” And that sounds like it’s the case. “She should not divorce him.” Now listen to this. “For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife.” 

You see what’s said? The unbelieving husband, even if he’s a FreeMason, even if he’s involved in the Golden Dawn, is made holy by his marriage to a Christian. What does that mean? Does holy mean righteous there? The idea of holy means separate. It means that that husband is sanctified by his marriage to that Christian woman. And then it goes on to say this: “Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy.” See, a Christian wife makes the whole house sanctified. A Christian wife makes the unbelieving husband sanctified. Makes the children sanctified. The household is declared holy, the husband is declared holy, the children are declared holy. 

Now what does that mean practically speaking? Well, in some way, that whole family is sanctified. And I believe it probably means this: there’s a special protection there. I believe that the angels are ministering spirits. They’re given to minister to God’s people. If you’ve got God’s people in that house, that house is protected by the angels of God. It definitely has the light of God’s Word in it. It definitely has an individual that is receiving the blessings of the Lord. You know, when you have a Christian in a household, there’s a blessing of God that falls on that household that wouldn’t otherwise be there. And in that sense, that whole household is sanctified. 

And what does it say? The instruction to this sister is if you’ve got an unbelieving husband, and he’s willing to stay with you, don’t leave him. And it doesn’t give any qualifications. It doesn’t say, well, if he’s in Satanism, that’s an exception. There’s no exceptions. If he’s willing to dwell with you, dwell there. 

Now obviously, if situations arise where there’s physical danger to the family, physical danger to the children, that would be another thing. And obviously this sister would need to be in close contact with some pastors that could guide her through the situation. The other thing I would say is this: This is a text that comes out of 1 Peter. “Wives, be subject to your own husbands.” So to this sister, I would say, you know what, the Lord calls you, even though he’s unbelieving, to be subject to your husband. Obviously in all the areas that aren’t sin. If he asks you to do sinful things, attend any kind of meetings or get involved in any kind of occultic practices, obviously, you don’t go there. But in as much as she can honor her husband, reverence her husband, be subject to her husband, she needs to be. 

Why? So that even if some do not obey the Word, and he’s not obeying the Word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. So she needs to live in front of her husband in such a way as to win him. When he sees her respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or putting on of clothing, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their husbands as Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him lord. 

Now listen to this: And you are her children if you do good, and listen to this, and do not fear anything that is frightening. Isn’t that an amazing thing that he would say that. Don’t fear anything that is frightening. You know what I would say to this sister? Peter is calling her to live virtuously, to live in such a way that she is respectful, she is pure, but also not afraid. Why? It’s a call to faith. Trust the Lord. Don’t be frightened by any of your husband’s occultic practices. Because He that’s with you is stronger than he that’s with your husband. And your husband’s sanctified. And your home is sanctified. Trust the Lord. Don’t be frightened by anything that’s frightening. Don’t fear anything frightening. Live trusting the Lord. Live godly before your husband. Don’t involve yourself. Don’t participate in his occultic practices. But the Scripture would say stay with him. Live righteously before him. And it might even be that God will allow you to win your husband. That seems to be the biblical counsel in the matter.