What goes through the mind of a child that is raised in a godly household? I’m  sure every parent who seeks to bring up their children “in the discipline and  instruction of the Lord” (Eph 6:4) has at some point in time wondered this. So, we ask ourselves, what is a very common pitfall for children who are raised in  a Christian household? 

Self-Righteousness 

Children are observational. Children are imitational. And growing up in the  environment of a Christian home gives a child much opportunity to learn and  absorb. Generally, children by nature want to please and imitate their  parents. But the issue arises that if a child is not regenerate, then their inner  nature will be completely different from that of their parents. Nonetheless,  they will seek to imitate and obey (to some extent) their godly father and  mother. And what parent does not reward an obedient child? Or discipline a  disobedient child? This leads us to what I believe to be a very common pitfall  for children raised in the Christian home. A spirit of self-righteousness.  

When a child observes their siblings, friends, or other people they encounter  in the world, they will begin to compare themselves over and against them.  Siblings or friends at school will curse, joke crudely, be immodest, lie, steal,  and be disobedient to authority. When a child obeys their parents or teachers,  they are rewarded, even praised for such obedience. And when they choose  to observe the evident sin in the lives of their siblings or peers, they will say in  their heart “I’m going to heaven because I’m not as bad as them. I don’t do  the things they do. I’m a good person because I usually obey my parents.” They become like the Pharisee in Luke 18 who thanked God that he was “not  like other men.” And yet, it is the humility and cry for mercy of the tax collector  that sends a man down to his house justified.

The one who trusts in themselves for righteousness is inadvertently living out  Romans 10 verse 3. “Not knowing about God’s righteousness and seeking to  establish their own, they did not subject themselves to the righteousness of  God.” Apart from Christ, children will seek to establish a righteousness of  their own! For the Christian, Christ is our righteousness, and only hope.  Parents, you may say “But we’ve told our children to place their faith in  Christ.” Praise the Lord! But I would stir you up with this. Continue to do so!  Do not give up. How many times must you remind your children of basic  things, day in and day out. How often do you have to tell them again and again  to do something. So, as it pertains to Christ our Righteousness, do not cease  to remind them, lest they forget, and begin to seek to establish a  righteousness of their own! 

A child may think to themselves “My parents are solid Christians, if I can just  convince them that I am saved, then it will be well for me.” I can recall in my  own life, picking up my Bible to read (because after all, that’s what Christians  do), getting distracted, hearing my parents’ footsteps, and then returning  focus to my Bible. A self-righteous child will do countless things to give their  parents eye service. Lost children often consider their motives to be pure, and  not truly wicked. But they must be washed in the cleansing blood of Christ.  Proverbs 30:12 says “There are those who are clean in their own eyes but are  not washed of their filth.” So it is with many of our children who have not yet  come to Christ. Their self-righteousness is their chief sin, and greatest pitfall.  

Even a child may make himself known by his deeds (Pro 20:11). Often times,  even if a child does obey their parents, it is not the “obedience from the heart”  laid out for us in Romans 6:17. I can recall this in my own life. I was a slave to  sin. A hypocrite, seeking to perform “righteous deeds” to be seen by others.  Christ’s words to the Pharisees were made manifest, “Truly I tell you; they  have received their reward in full” (Matt 6:5). 

So, parents, do not grow weary of sharing the Gospel to your children! Do not grow weary of pointing them to Christ. If Jesus is not laid out before them clearly and consistently, then they will seek to deceive you, themselves, and  God. Just as the Apostle Paul thought that it was right to stir us up by way of  reminder, so also, parents must remind their children of the centrality of the 

Savior. Obedience and good behavior should be rewarded. But they are a  false hope unto salvation. The importance of Christ cannot be understated in  the home. If he is, then children will be left to carry out dead religion to please  their parents. May it never be! Christ is our only hope. 

“My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But  if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the  righteous.” – 1 John 2:1